Our Beloved Maple Leafs

Leaf Nation... I use the term loosely as a term for a physical, geographical area which is defined by broadcast television coverage. In short, if you're forced by your regional sports coverage to watch the Toronto Maple Leafs every single game, you're probably in Leaf Nation. Leaf Nation is not a good place to be. It's full of blind zealots, something akin to a cult, who follow the will and behest of their ruling overmind, Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. Leaf Nation is the perfect example of how media is able to control what people think, and when they deem it appropriate to think it. Take, for example, the telecast of the Feb. 5 broadcast of the Panthers/Leafs game. It started off with ominous music, followed by the narration of Joe Bowen stating that the young Leaf prospects were finally reaching the potential Leaf management thought they would, and that they were "showing why they were chosen".

Of course, for any pundit out there not affiliated with MLSE, we know that the Toronto Maple Leafs HAVE NO PROSPECTS. They were referring to Jiri Tlusty, chosen in the 1st round, 13th overall, Robbie Earl, chosen in the 6th round, 187th overall, and Carlo Colaiacovo, chosen in the 1st round, 17th overall. However, if one were to delve a little deeper past what MLSE is trying to sell, one would notice that their top prospect, Jiri Tlusty has 8 points in 30 games, and is a -8 with 4 PIMS. Given he's only 19 years old, but those are not exactly impressive numbers. Robbie Earl, who after ONE game has become the saviour of the Leaf franchise, and has 30 points in 67 games in the AHL Toronto Marlies. Impressive, no? Finally, we come to Carlo Colaiacovo, who after four seasons, has played a grand total of 81 NHL games, is 25 years old, and has a bit of a mountain to climb to catch up to a real prospect like, oh I don't know... Dion Phaneuf, Brent Burns, or Ryan Whitney.

But relax everyone in Leaf Nation. Everything is going to be okay... Shhhh.... It's okay... *said in cooing voice* Robbie Earl will save you. Robbie Earl will make it allll better. And if he doesn't, then Bryan McCabe will. Or maybe 25 year old "prospect" Carlo Colaiacovo. Shhhhh... Don't worry about a thing... Shhhhhhhh..........