Mid-season predictions (Part 1 - the East)

So I suppose you're all wondering and saying, "Oh great and wonderful Burnsy, will my team, the blankety blanks, make the playoffs this year?". Well, that's a good question, and it's what I'm here for, so let's get started. We'll start in the Eastern conference, and move into the Western conference.

1. Ottawa Senators
Undoubtedly. Despite their current goaltender controversy, this team has far too much talent to fail to make the playoffs. Jason Spezza is very likely leading the league in points per game, and if he's not, he's pretty darn close. Dany Heatley and Daniel Alfredsson are both in the league's top 10 in scoring, and they have one of the best (if not the best) top four defensemen in the league with Chris Phillips, Anton Volchenkov, Wade Redden, and Andrej Meszaros. Combine that with their "tandem" of Gerber and Emery who, while they're not playing their best hockey at the moment, are nonetheless both talented goaltenders, and you have one of the top teams in the league. It's no mystery why they're sitting atop the East almost 10 points ahead of their nearest rival.

2. New Jersey Devils
The Devils are a perennial threat, and this year is no different. It doesn't seem to matter who their players are, who their coach is, or what style of play they're taking; they just seem to keep winning. Elias? Non-factor. Gomez and Rafalski? Gone. Brodeur? Played like shit the first 15-20 games of the season. The Devils? First in the Atlantic division, second in the East. How do they do it? There are only 2 explanations. 1. The devil. 2. The mob. Everything else doesn't make sense. Will the Devils make the playoffs? Martin Brodeur. .. Wait a minute, that's not an answer, that's a name. Will the Devils be successful in the playoffs? Martin Brodeur. Will the -- Martin Brodeur. Will-- Martin Brodeur. ... ... MARTIN BRODEUR. Martin Brodeur is not just a name, it's also an answer to any question pertaining to the New Jersey Devils.

3. Carolina Hurricanes
Playing in one of the weakest divisions in the league (along with Atlanta, Florida, Washington, and Tampa Bay), the 'Canes should have no trouble in making the playoffs. Even if they don't finish first in the Southeast division, their forward depth and team defense should be enough to put them within the top 6 teams at the end of the season.

4. Pittsburgh Penguins
This team is good. Very good. Despite underachieving players like Fleury, Recchi (who was recently waived), and Staal, the Pens are still in good shape in the East. It's possible that they won't make the playoffs, but unless things go sour for the Pens, they should finish amongst the top 8 to grab a playoff spot.

5. Montreal Canadiens
The Habs had a wonderful start to the season, but have since lapsed into the perennial mediocrity that has plagued them for years now. Their strong start may be enough to push them into a playoff spot, but with the Canadiens, you never really know. Before the season started, I would have said it could go either way. 40 games in, after a strong start, it could still go either way. Look for the Canadiens to finish 6th-10th at season's end.

6. Boston Bruins
Much like the Montreal Canadiens, Boston is the poster-child for mediocrity. Whether or not they will make the playoffs is anybody's guess. They're currently 2 points up on the NYI, who are in 9th place, and 5 points up on 3 teams with 41 points. Look for Boston to finish anywhere between 7th and 10th in the East.

7. New York Rangers
Our first beloved black hole of hockey. Despite the vast talent the Rangers are able to sign year after year, they just can't seem to do anything with it. Unless the Rangers can string some wins together, it looks like they may be firing blanks again this year. With 45 points, the Rangers are currently 7th in the East and 1 point out of bubble position. However, with as much talent as the Rangers have, it should not be unrealistic to see them finish in the top 5 in the East; however, top 8 is probably more realistic.

8. Philadelphia Flyers
Considering the season the Flyers had last year, taking the 8th and final playoff spot could be considered a blessing. With Gagne returning to the lineup, and the burgeoning talent of Mike Richards, the the Flyers need only rid themselves of the traveling freakshow that is Steve Downie and get themselves some goaltending, and they should have a successful playoff team on their hands. Look for the Flyers to finish the season somewhere between 5th and 8th in the East.

9. New York Islanders
If anyone can give me a good reason why the Islanders should be in the playoffs, please advise me of your current position so I can find you and slap you in the face. And don't say "Rick DiPietro". After being single-handedly demolished by GM Mike Milbury, this team is about as low as it can possibly get. Were it not for Rick DiPietro, they would surely be in the Eastern Conference basement. Just what has Mike Milbury done, you ask? I'm just going to throw out some of the talent that Mike Milbury had (either drafted, or had the draft pick that would have resulted in), and then I'll throw out some of the names that he got back. Had: Roberto Luongo ('Nuff said). Eric Brewer, Tim Connolly, Zdeno Chara, Wade Redden, Jason Spezza, Todd Bertuzzi, Bryan McCabe, Olli Jokinen, J.P. Dumont.

(In case you're not familiar with these names, here's a brief breakdown)
Luongo: Perennial Vezina candidate.
Connolly: Point/game player.
Brewer: Gold medal winning defenseman for Team Canada.
Chara: Wrecking ball captain of the Boston Bruins and possible Norris candidate.
Redden: Another possible Norris candidate (when playing his best).
Spezza: Possible Art Ross candidate and current NHL points/game leader
Bertuzzi: While his best days are behind him (post Steve Moore), he was, for a significant length of time, considered one of the (if not the) best powerforward in the game, and rightly so.
McCabe: He gets a lot of points... I guess Bryan McCabe wasn't one of the best examples I could have used.... He's getting paid a lot of money... Does that make him good?
Olli Jokinen: Captain and leading scorer of the Florida Panthers. Point/game scorer, aggressive, good size down the middle. What more could you ask for?

Now let's see what he got back:
Zdeno Chara, Bill Muckalt, and 1st Round selection (Jason Spezza) for: Alexei Yashin. Yes, that's right. Alexei Yashin. Where is he now, you ask? I believe he's playing in Russia...

Eric Brewer, Josh Green and 2nd Round selection (Brad Winchester) for: Roman Hamrlik. One of the least offensive of all of his trades, although I'd still take Brewer any day of the week over Hamrlik.

Tim Connolly and Taylor Pyatt for: Michael Peca. Probably the least offensive trade of them all. Can't really go wrong with Michael Peca.

Rick DiPietro: Drafted in 2000 ahead of Dany Heatley and Marian Gaborik. Yes, that's right. Two franchise players. But it's alright. He signed Rick DiPietro to a 15 year deal worth about $75 million dollars, so he covered his butt there. ... Wait a minute... That doesn't make sense...

Todd Bertuzzi, Bryan McCabe, and a 3rd Round selection (Jarkko Ruutu) for: Trevor Linden. Mind you, this was back in 1998, so Linden still had a few good years left in him, but then again, so did Todd Bertuzzi...

Luongo and Jokinen traded for: Mark Parrish and Oleg Kvasha. Mark who and who?? Exactly. This trade really sums up his career in a nutshell. Arguably the best goaltender in the league along with a superstar forward for two roster players, one who's shown sparks of mediocrity at the peak of his career, and the other who splits his time between playing in Russia and playing in North America. Wow.

J.P. Dumont and 5th round selection (Francis Belanger) for: Dmitri Nabokov. That's Dmitri Nabokov, not Evgeni Nabokov. Don't go thinking that 'ol Mike might have actually made a decent move. Yes, Mike Milbury thinks the game as well as he played it. Craptastically.

By the way, as a quick aside, Canadians and fans of TSN are now forced to watch this bonehead on NHL on TSN, where hockey pundits like Bob McKenzie, Pierre McGuire, and Darren Dreger actually have to listen to what this guy thinks about the game. If there's anyone from TSN reading this post, for the love of GOD, please don't subject us to anymore of this. The panel becomes a farce everytime this philistine opens his mouth. This guy is about as popular as Tie Domi outside of Toronto.

Oh yeah... The New York Islanders... Uh... Who cares. Every time I think of the New York Islanders, I think of Mike Milbury, and every time I think of that meathead opening his mouth, and get angrier and dumber.

10. Atlanta Thrashers
The Thrashers have never been a very successful team, and it would seem that they are doomed to be perpetual disappointment year after year. The Thrashers are either unable or unwilling to address their areas of need (ie: centre, defence), and will probably never be a viable threat until they do so. While it's possible (but unlikely) that the Thrashers will make the playoffs, making a successful run is a virtual impossibility. Atlanta will probably finish in 9th or 10th spot.

11. Buffalo Sabres
Tim Connolly, Thomas Vanek, Maxim Afinogenov, Derek Roy, Jason Pominville, Brian Campbell, Jaroslav Spacek, Tony Lydman, Dmitri Kalinen, Henrik Tallinder, Teppo Numinen, Ryan Miller. Even with the loss of Briere and Drury, the Sabres should have enough talent to compete. Then again, Lindy Ruff is the coach. The Sabres will probably finish between 4th and 7th in the East, but more than likely won't have a very successful playoff run.

12. Florida Panthers
Florida is another team with is loaded with talent, but are not achieving their potential. With players like Jokinen, Horton, Weiss, Olesz, Bouwmeester, Mezei, Van Ryn, and Vokoun, along with a solid cast of developing players, the Panthers should be doing better than their 12th place in the East position would suggest. As much as I would like to say the Panthers will make the playoffs, their history would suggest otherwise, as they have not made the playoffs in the last 6 seasons (not counting the lockout season). The Panthers will probably finish 9th to 11th in the East.

13. Washington Capitals
After just recently signing Alexander Ovechkin to one of the biggest contracts in NHL history (including the infamous Rick DiPietro 15 year contract), you might think that the future of the Capitals has been successfully assured. Hm... While the Caps have some interesting prospects including the likes of Alexander Semin, Nicklas Backstrom, Mike Green, Steve Eminger, Eric Fehr, and Karl Alzner, it's going to be a few years before we see them all in action at the same time. While their near future looks promising, their immediate future is questionable. By that time, they may need to address their goaltending position as well. If you're hoping for the Caps to make a playoff run, don't hold your breath. You might pass out.

14. Toronto Maple Leafs
What do you say about the Leafs that hasn't already been said a thousand times before? #1 The suits need to stop buying all the tickets and let the real fans into the stadium. #2 MLSE needs to sell the franchise because they've become a complete joke, and they just don't care anymore. #3 Richard Peddie, the current president of MLSE, needs to stop being such a dick, as ironic as that sounds. #4 If MLSE doesn't sell, they need to start caring about the product they are putting on the ice. Even hardcore Leaf fans have started to admit to themselves that their team is a joke, and that's like getting OJ to admit that he killed his wife. #5 EVERYONE on the Leaf roster must go. Yes. Everyone. Name one player that you would keep. Go ahead. I DARE you. You can't do it, can you? Even die-hard Leafers have to admit that nobody on that team tries anymore except for Sundin. This isn't the team that mommy and daddy loved. This is the new breed of Leaf. He's greedy, selfish, and spoiled. He cares nothing for the fans, for the tradition, or for the game. If Leaf fans want to effect change, then stop buying what MLSE is selling, because you're getting fleeced. The Leafs make the playoffs? Sadly they might. The Leafs having a successful playoff run? With 16 wins after 44 games? It's about as likely as the Republicans espousing gay marriage.

15. Tampa Bay Lightning
The question that keeps popping up ever since their Cup win in 03/04 is, "Can Vincent Lecavalier, Martin St. Louis, and Brad Richards be bigger than the rest of the NHL?" As long as the big three from Tampa Bay can play bigger than the team they are playing against, then Tampa Bay will win. And as good as the big 3 are, Tampa Bay's 16 regular season wins tell the story. If your goal is to run your star centre into the ground by playing him 25+ minutes per game, then mission accomplished. Will the big 3 have anything left in the tank come playoff time (or even a last push towards the playoffs)? Likely not. Tampa will likely finish below 12th in the East.

... Tune in next time for a Western Conference analysis. Same Bat time! Same Bat channel!